Sex addicts usually seek help because their behavior has caused deep harm to themselves, their partners, their family. Sex addicts come to the office overwhelmed with shame, self-hatred, out-of-control obsession and an inability to stop acting out. They feel possessed. They are grasping at any lifeline they can find to get ahold of themselves. Obsession and compulsion have [...]
Can addicts develop empathy? Do addicts naturally have empathy but are so self-focused they refuse to see their partners feeling side of an issue? Is it appropriate to expect my addict partner to empathize with my pain? As a sex addict should I have the capacity for empathy – and if I don’t is there something wrong [...]
A “healthy” expression of love involves safety, trust, holding the other as dear and precious as well as maintaining a balanced sense of give and take in relation to a valued other. Love involves the experience of truly knowing and holding the other spiritually, emotionally and physically. Love deepens over time as a couple grows to understand [...]
At one time or another in treatment, a partner of a sexual compulsive (addict) will say in a moment of deep despair “I feel like a fool for staying”. What is she really saying? What is the deeper meaning beneath her words? For many “I feel like a fool…” is an expression of a complexity of [...]
I am reminded of the AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) slogan “One drink is too much and a thousand are never enough”. When the discovery of your partners’ secret life is uncovered asking questions about the behavior is the surest method for feeling safe…