At one time or another in treatment, a partner of a sexual compulsive (addict) will say in a moment of deep despair “I feel like a fool for staying”. What is she really saying? What is the deeper meaning beneath her words? For many “I feel like a fool…” is an expression of a complexity of [...]
I am reminded of the AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) slogan “One drink is too much and a thousand are never enough”. When the discovery of your partners’ secret life is uncovered asking questions about the behavior is the surest method for feeling safe…
“I feel utterly unprotected” one of the women said in group this week. Her sexually addicted spouse is either unwilling or unable to work and their debt is mounting. She feels absolutely powerless to change her situation. He is not working. There is no money coming in. They are living on credit. She cannot physically [...]
The moment of the discovery of the betrayal of trust and relational vows by the sex addicted partner have been described as “a moment of profound shock”, “like a landslide or mudslide falling on me”, “an experience of disbelief where I wasn’t sure if I was alive or dead”, “the most frightening moment of my [...]
This is probably the most complex question partner’s of sexual addicts face, “Can I ever trust that my partner will not act out again?”. Although devistated by the betrayal of acting out, partners are desperate to find healing and forgiveness. Partners report feeling deep love and attachment to their “acting-out” partner. Shared lives, shared memories, [...]
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