What does it mean to forgive someone who has lied or broken emotional, religious, ethical and verbal vows?  What does it mean to forgive someone who has emotionally, verbally, sexually, spiritually abused another?  How can one be expected to forgive  the unforgivable?  How can forgiveness be suggested to the victim of such behavior?  Can a murderer be forgiven?  Can an adulterer be forgiven?  A molester? A parent who has yelled at a child every night of their young life?

Does forgiveness benefit the victim or does it simply offer a “free pass” to the perpetrator? 

In a series of articles I will begin to explore the process of forgiveness.  Forgiving others, forgiving self and moving toward reconciliation and healing ultimately elevates the self. 

Forgiveness releases one from the torment of anger, bitterness, rage, depression, fear and illness. 

Forgiveness heals all relationships as every relationship in ones’  life is touched by the sour pain of betrayal. 

Forgiveness invokes a higher power to assist in healing the heart.

Forgiveness requires one to face the self-righteous entitlement that comes with having been hurt – the destructive “right” to hurt back.

Forgiveness allows one to shed the toxicity of anger and rage.

And yet, those who have been betrayed are offended by the suggestion that they may be called upon to forgive their abuser.  When the time is right – and for those who desire to become well and healed the time will come – forgiveness is essential. 

Consider the long-term cost of holding pain;  Emotional unsteadiness.  Uncontrollable tears.  Fear and growing suspicion.  Loss of joy.  A sense of the world as grey and tired.  Anxiety.  Panic.  Stomachaches.  Headaches.  G.E.R.D. (many partners suffer from this painful acid reflux condition).  Depression.

FORGETTING IS NOT A REQUIREMENT OF FORGIVENESS!  May you never forget what has happened to you because it happened to you!   May you find the ability through the power of forgiveness to release the pain while forever holding the story.

The conversation on forgiveness is just beginning.  

With Peace,

Michele

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