Having worked with hundreds of couples in failing marriages due to infidelity (masturbation with pornography is a betrayal) since 1993, following are the top 10 behaviors the “betrayer” can do to restore trust and promote the healing of complex wounds of the betrayed partner-

1. Have gratitude every day that your partner has stayed with you
another day
2. Rebuild trust with right thinking and right behavior.
3. Remain always humble and contrite
4. Thank your partner every day for staying with you
5. Remember that your words mean nothing because you lied,
cheated, betrayed the most sacred and vulnerable relational
expectation – that you would remain faithful. Consistent action
every day heals
6. Remind yourself that committing adultry is selfish
and self-centered. You were thinking only of what you wanted
when you acted out.
7. Act selfless and other-centered. Ask your partner about the hurt
pain, and sadness you have caused every day
8. Readily admit your wrongs
9. Remind yourself it is better to be happy than to be right. Forego
petty arguments and let go of your ego. Remember what you did.
10. Live in the truth that, for your partner, your marriage is over. The
marriage your partner thought was real was a lie.

Trust must be rebuilt for a marriage to be rebuilt. Begin now. Stop apologizing and start behaving with integrity and humility.

With Peace
Michele

This entry was posted on April 26, 2011 at 5:56 pm. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

Posted in Uncategorized by michelesaffier