Michele Saffier helps clients move beyond the trauma of betrayal towards healing.

About About


Our practice specializes in the treatment of process and behavioral addictions and other issues.

Programs Programs


Our treatment services seek to restore balance, tranquility and equanimity after the trauma of betrayal.

Treatments Treatments

For Addicts

We focus on helping clients regain control and experience spiritual and emotional healing.

For Addicts For Addicts

For Partners

Treatment enables partners to make thoughtful decisions about their life moving forward.

For Partners For Partners

Our Mission

We seek to restore emotional health in individuals and families impacted by the trauma of betrayal and addictions.

Our Mission Our Mission


Since 1993, Michele Saffier has regularly worked with couples and families on a wide range of issues.

Qualifications Qualifications


Ms Saffier helps uncover the root causes of destructive behaviors to promote healing from within.

Contact Contact

There is Hope

Partners often ask “do couples really recover from sex addiction?” and “why don’t I see any of these ‘healed couples’ in partner of sex addicts meetings?

Partners are looking for hope.  They are looking for a positive return on their emotional investment.  Partners seek reassurance that the pain and shame they are choosing to live through will come with peace and even joy on the other side and that the life they knew would return.  Partners are not “happy” living in anger and rage. No one would not choose to feel overwhelmed, without hope and emotionally out of control.  There is no satisfaction in venting anger (again) at the sex addict.  They don’t believe there can be ‘payback’ or an ‘even-ing of the score’ with this betrayal.  When anger is expressed in the office it is often followed by deep sadness and embarrassment.

Is there hope for a life outside of the walls of a 12 step meeting or therapists office?  Is there a point at which this addiction is no longer the organizing principal of ones’ life?  Is there a time that check-ins, disclosures, slips and mistrust will be a distant and painful memory of a dark part of ones’ life? Is there a time when t.v., movies, a walk in the park, or a bite out to eat will not involve avoiding “triggers”?

Read the rest of There is Hope

Recovery or Discovery?

In the first therapy session, the most frequently asked question is “How long is the recovery process?”.

People in acute distress need a sense of how long it will be before their lives to return to “normal”.  In that first session what a client is really asking is “how much longer will I be in this much pain?”.  Partners want to know how long they will be asked (or expected) to manage the home, children, work,  and other responsibilities while the addict attends numerous 12 Step meetings, group and individual therapies.  Partners understand the problem requires immediate and intense focus, time and attention. Partners are encouraging of their addict partner –   and often willing to put their needs on hold while the addict works hard to get well.

Read the rest of Recovery or Discovery?

What Story Will Define You?

Am I my disease?

Is my addict the core of who I really am?

Was there a time my life that addict thinking and behavior was not in the “drivers seat”?

Persons in recovery often wrestle with these questions.  When one is active in the disease of addiction, whether alcohol, heroin, gambling, fantasy, marijuana, food, sex or pornography it is hard to imagine a life without it.  As the next moment, day, month, year goes by and the Addiction -with it’s constant demand for time and focus- persists,  more of the authentic self recedes.  Memories of doing laundry “straight” become fuzzy.  Lived experiences of taking a bike ride or listening to a favorite band are lost.  A compliment by a fourth grade teacher, a soccer trophy well earned, the loss of a treasured friendship are forgotten and disappear from the landscape of ones’ early life.  Even recollections of enjoyable early acting out experiences are gone.  The present is lived in a tornado with responsibilities, joys, birthdays, deaths, promotions, acting out all swirling around in a gray haze.  Friends drop off the radar, deadlines are missed, appointments are forgotten.

Read the rest of What Story Will Define You?

Posted in Michele Saffier's Blog by michelesaffier.

Broken Promises

Broken promises Shattered dreams A life is disrepair.

Grasping at straws grasping for air

searching for answers searching for peace

What path to take

The familiar rearranged

Connections are fleeting not filling the empty spaces between

Hopelessness IsolationMoments of normal


The dark places are endless

Self doubt self reproach self reflectself respect

Why me why not me why anyoneso much suffering

How to repair the despair

No one knows No one really knows We pretend to know the way

The way home is no more

Home is a memory a sweet and distant memory where life was possible and dreams came true

In my dreams and now no dreams only

Dreaming streaming tears from nowhere appear

A thought a memory a hope tears

Tears searing through my heart

Why me why not me what did I know what didn’t I know what didn’t I want to know what do I now know

Its unknowable it just is its just life its just menits just lust its just trust its just us

Im scared

of the winter of the dark of the alone of one of me of change

of no change of love of no love of menof no man

of my body for my soul for my indomitable spirit

Fall 2011ELFF

A poem written by a partner of a sex addict who continues to seek understanding and make sense of the acting out.  The author is moved that others find inspiration and comfort in the poems and is interested in comments, which aid in the authors’ healing. Comments may be sent to msaffier@yahoo.com and will be forwarded to the author.

With gratitude to the author and respect for those many beautiful and pained souls who seek comfort and healing,


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Posted in Michele Saffier's Blog by michelesaffier.

The Ones They Love The Most

They Walk the earth wrecking the ones they love the most

Careless in their actions, thoughtless in their deeds

They seem to be unscathed, unlike the ones they love the most

Going about their day professing regret

Being patient, as the confessor praying for absolution

They walk the earth reflecting on their past transgressions

As if talking will somehow change the past

They seem to find new ways to comfort their torn innards

Unlike the ones they love the most who wander the earth searching for what once was.

They move forward connecting with new ones looking over their shoulder for the next burst of rage from the ones they love the most

They’re told to be patient because the rage is deserved because they betrayed and they violated and they stole

They’re told to pray and share and repent and track their past because hurt people hurt people

And the ones they love the most wander the earth searching for what once was searching under rocks and wedding pictures and hints of what once was

They seek solace among others who ravaged the hearts of the of the ones they love the most

And each day is a new day like the other day that is a day like no other because the earth has quaked and shook and everything changed

And everything that was familiar and home and safe is a reminder that nothing is familiar and home and safe

And what is left to do but pray and share and repent and believe and hope?

And pray for the ones they love the most.

ELFF 4/20/2012

This powerful poem was written by a partner in emotional recovery from infidelity, betrayal and devastation of family as a result of the spouses sexual acting out.  We hope these words will touch you as deeply as they have those living in, surviving and moving through the life-shattering pain.  I am grateful to the author for allowing this poem to be shared.

May you find peace on your journey,