FOR THE PARTNER/SPOUSE
Discovery or disclosure of spouse/partner behaviors (“acting out”) including: chronic affairs, one-night stands or anonymous sex, use of prostitutes, use of massage parlors, frequenting strip clubs, excessive use of pornography, excessive masturbation, illegal sexual behaviors, loss of job due to inappropriate sexual behavior, problems with “cybersex”, chat rooms, downloading pornographic material, using adult dating sites for “hook-ups”. There are many more sexual behaviors that, when excessive, compulsive and secret result in sexual addiction.
Why do this work?
Spouses and partners of sexual addicts begin treatment to reduce the fear, anxiety, pain and anger they feel as a result of this life-altering discovery. They seek to understand what has happened to them. They work to make sense of their lives; the secrets, lies and secret life that were embedded in their relationships. They begin to realize they have been traumatized by what they have learned. Many partners feel sexually/spiritually traumatized by the experience.
Our treatment assists clients in moving through their pain to regain a healthy sense of self. We believepartners are strong, capable, independent and honest people who have suffered through a life-changing and life-threatening experience.
Treatment enables partners to make thoughtful decisions about their life moving forward whether their decision is to stay in or leave their relationship
We utilize cognitive-behavioral treatment, psychoeducation., mindfulness meditation, EMDR, communication skills training, and pain-reduction techniques to facilitate healing in partners. The work focuses on understanding and working through the Trauma of the discovery of the behavior.
We utilize the Trauma Model in the treatment of partners. The Trauma Model recognizes and respects that the reactions which partners experience upon discovery that their partner/spouse, with whom a life, intimacy, children, memories and deep connection has been shared, has broken vows, lied repeatedly and jeopardized health, financial security and emotional trust. We believe the behaviors in which partners engage including questioning, checking cell phones, bank statements, history on computer are attempts to restore a sense of safety in a now unsafe world.
Services for Partners
Partner’s Group – Therapist led Group therapy enables partner’s to develop a support system and community with others who understand the horror and pain of sex addiction. Focus is on empowerment, facing the truth, setting boundaries and limits of tolerable behavior, working on healing, working toward forgiveness, reclaiming meaningful and healthy lives after discovery of sex addiction.
Studies indicate that approximately 80% of marriages remain intact, thrive and grow into healthier, deeper and more conscious relationships when both partners do deep healing therapeutic work.
Research indicates that relational healing is dramatically improved when the partner has full knowledge, or “disclosure”, of the full extent of sexual acting out behaviors.
A therapist facilitated disclosure maximizes the potential for honesty and humility; these are the essential components of the healing process.
Developed to promote healing in partners, disclosure seeks to maintain mutual respect, dignity and emotional transparency while enabling partners to seek the information necessary for decision-making, insuring safety and emotional wellness.